Not Myself

Verse 1 Yesterday I tried to rewrite myself for you Thought maybe I could learn your point of view Changed my colors, bent my taste in sound Hoping that we’d meet on common ground I was standing there in hopeless awe Trying not to see what I was for Every mirror felt like someone new Every move was just a guess with you I felt lost, unsure, insecure Lonely in the room we built before Started asking questions I ignored Is this even what I’m looking for? I was not myself with you Trying just to make it through Every time I changed my shape I was slipping out of place If I lose me just for love What am I becoming of? I was breaking in disguise Looking through somebody else’s eyes Verse 2 Tried to like the things you loved the most Said I did when I was feeling close Smiled through it, played the part again Tracing footsteps I was never in Then I flipped and ran the other way Pressed your nerves like I was begging you to stay Dreaded every call you tried to make Cried out lies I didn’t even fake Told myself I wasn’t playing games But I hated how I loved the change Something in me wanted it to end Even if I couldn’t say it then I was not myself with you Trying just to make it through Every time I changed my shape I was slipping out of place If I lose me just for love What am I becoming of? I was breaking in disguise Looking through somebody else’s eyes I wasn’t fair to you or me Hiding in a version I didn’t mean Said you couldn’t handle who I’d been But I built the fire you were standing in Now I’m mad you walked away Even though I pushed you there Standing in the echo of A mess I made and couldn’t spare I was not myself with you Trying just to make it through Every time I changed my shape I was slipping out of place If I lose me just for love What am I becoming of? I was breaking in disguise Looking through somebody else’s eyes I was not myself

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